I read a book this weekend. Cover to cover.
Our house is unpacked. except for 1 room that will probably never be unpacked.
I cooked 12 quarts of chicken broth and froze them.
I made chicken and dumplings from scratch.
We went to a birthday party and watched the giants move into the World Series and spent some time with new and old friends.
I am awfully productive on rainy days.
After I finished my book at 11 pm, I turned off the lights, locked the doors, and went into my room to change into PJs (which I should have done HOURS earlier…but didn’t).
I hear the thump thump thump of little feet.
D doesn’t pitter patter. She thumps.
She stumbles into the room, eyes closed, hair in her face and crawls into my bed, kisses her daddy (eyes still closed) and promptly rolls over into my spot and falls asleep. IN MY SPOT. doesn’t seem to see me or to consider that there is an awful lot of empty bed space.
Truth be told, I probably could have transferred her back into her bed for a few more hours until she woke up again at 2 or 3.
Instead, I just rolled her over snuggled up and breathed in her sour little breath. She patted my back and murmured “I love you, momma.”
As we cuddled, I thought about how, some day not so far in the future, she won’t be so little and snuggly. She’ll resist my kisses. She’ll talk on the phone incessantly and use an annoyed tone with me and prefer her friend’s mothers to me.
So I made a promise to myself that this week, I’ll be the most understanding, compassionate, loving mother I can possibly be.
I’ll listen to her intently.
I’ll be understanding and offer a hug when she is upset over what seems to be nothing (but what is clearly devastating to her).
I’ll explain my “no” answers. I’ll hug when I feel like yelling.
I’ll forgive myself when I forget to do these things.
Funny that one look at my sleeping “big girl” can inspire so much in me. That she has already inspired so many positive changes in me.
Then I remember that EVERYTHING is different because of her. She may never know it, but my baby girl changed the world for me.
And you changed the world for your mother, too.
GAWD, how I love that little girl.